Choosing Flow Over FearOct 01, 2021
Choosing Flow Over Fear
-by Amanda Joyce
Womxn optimize flow through engulfing energy each day with ease.
Life sometimes spills over you like the waves of the ocean, years of difficult decisions, heavy and crashing. When life doesn’t cure you and you are left to cure yourself remember this: You are whole in the rough, natural, uncured version of yourself. Remind yourself that you are the ocean and the waves crash upon you in life not to consume you; you consume them. You engulf them until they are a part of you creating a bigger, vaster version of yourself. Surrender to their flow.
Don’t judge the waves for good or bad. Take them as they are. Instead of cringing, being afraid, anxious, or tensing up...drink them up and water easily flows into your veins and becomes a part of you. Waves of life even detoxify your stagnant energy. You are the wave and the wave is you. The ocean can be calm and earth-shattering. Your mind can be peaceful and intense. There is beauty in every flow.
Go with the flow.
Coordinating Beautiful Flow in Every Day
Your mental and physical health balances into a beautiful dance that flows together through your efforts. If rhythm and flow are superpowers, distraction is their enemy. Distraction causes you to lose sight of the shore and your destination.
Studies show that the “right amount of skill and challenge can be beneficial in initiating a state of flow” (ACE, Professional’s Guide to Health and Wellness Coaching, pg. 157).
Fighting the Waves of Life is Challenging
Fighting against life is like kicking and flailing against the water. Your body grows tired sooner and when the waves calm you have no energy or strength left to swim. Let the water flow from the wind. Receive the waves in the patterns they show up instead of forcing them to take you where you want to go. Move out of the way of how winds blow. Winds blow counter to what ships desire -Arabic proverb. If you are distracted, your ship won’t sail.
Sometimes you aren’t in charge. Women are powerful. Our desire to do all that we can is tenacious. How often are we trusting that what is meant to happen is happening? Ground yourself to the Earth and surrender steering your ship toward a different direction than you initially wanted. Let it go in the direction it’s meant to go. If you’re burnt out or you hit rocky terrain, flow toward a beautiful journey. Windy waves against cliffs hold beauty. You are the drops of water directing your path.
Flow with life instead of fighting it. There is a continuum of flow and there is resistance. Much resistance today is found in distraction from prioritization. If you’ve made it to the swim, you are resilient. You’ve overcome something to be there. Keep swimming and continuing a healthy flow. Believe in yourself.
Neuroscience studies show to avoid distraction, acquire cognitive optimization.
Here are four of my secret tips:
1. Have a focused playlist.
2. Focus on water intake. Hydration for the brain helps to avoid cognitive overload. Address cognitive optimization by finding a focal point and letting the flow get you to your goal.
3. Focus on repeating strokes to create intention. Focus on the micro goal or the stroke instead of the final goal or the length of the entire swim.
4. Take five minutes to bathe in your intention every day so when the storm comes, you are not thrown off your goal.
Surrendering is Key
Surrender to the present moment. Who or what is stealing your flow or your presence? Are you in a storm where you need to hunker down or calmly float until it passes? Do you have sacred time to do what you choose to do? For freestyle? Wellness is achieved by following the universe’s energy. Align yourself through wellness habits. How do you use what you have to align to the universe’s plans and movements for you? Leave yourself in a healthier, happier state than you started. Flow carries potential to create happier, motivated women who walk around leaving the world a better place instead of swimming in a fog of water mist.
One day, I went to the ocean waves and allowed the waves to crash into me without cringing. I replaced the fight and resistance with surrender. Surrendering to what isinstead of what was and the present moment. Flow is a dance between surrender and trust. It’s a practice much like building a muscle. Rather than avoid hard issues, dive into your true emotions to find what lies underneath your surface emotion. Dive under the surface to discover your authentic self.
Anger is a secondary emotion. It is the iceberg seen above the surface of the water. The iceberg we see is only the tip of what lies underneath. The deeper you go, the more fear you overcome.
Drew Rane, The Familiar Way
Swimming in the angry waves is not the same as you being an angry person or a bad person. How does anger serve you? What purpose does it provide? What does it give you energy to do? Reframe anger for good. Perhaps anger gives you energy. The childhood film, Inside Out depicts anger as a raging, red emotion fueled with fire. Fire can be devastating or fire can be used for good. If your mind feels like it’s on fire, transcend it through quenching the fire in waves of peace.
Peace comes by letting go of fear and anger allowing more flowing moments.
How do you achieve peace? Through diving into the Four Fs of Flow:
1. Focus: Intensity and Frequency, Time
Set a timer where you focus on a specific task at hand for an allotted amount of time. This will give you peace throughout the rest of your day knowing you are taking the time for your priorities.
2. Four Percent Challenge: Too Easy = Dull, Too Difficult = Frustrating
As we saw in the first diagram, the right amount of skill and challenge can be beneficial in initiating a state of flow. Refer to that image to find the sweet spot between fear and anxiety and boredom.
3. Freedom- Free of Inner Criticism, Worry
State daily affirmations to clear the water of filth.
4. Feedback- Clear Goal, Clear Feedback
What worked and what didn’t? Constant reflection promotes the opportunity to look in the mirror and face what is actually happening in order to avoid turning your boat in the direction that leads to nowhere or unsafe waters.
It can be challenging to let go and trust. It is challenging to allow life to spill over at times in your ocean. When the waters of life thrash and become heavy, it is okay to crash and rest. It is okay to show your rough edges and your natural, uncured reflections. There is an immense amount of peace that comes with being in the present, whether it be rain or shine. There is peace in letting go and trusting in the flow.“There is no universal plan for peace and purpose. The way we get there is by training our minds to focus on how to react, respond, and commit to what we want in life, at our own pace, in our own time. When you fail, don’t judge the process and don’t judge yourself. Give yourself latitude to recover and return to a flexible focus on what you want” Jay Shetty. When life throws you another wave and another, return to that focus. Center yourself in the eye of the storm.
If you are determined to conquer the waters, you focus on your strengths. It’s up to you to swim into the waves of life instead of thrash through the storms. You are strongest when you aren’t being strewn about by whatever wind comes along next. Don’t allow the wind to cause you to lose sight of your destination nor the shore you came from. The waves are not against you. They are not coming full force with the intention to knock you over. Decide if you’re going to swim in them or fight them. Instead of fighting against the water, dance with the water. Learn to dance in the eye of the rainstorms. “In the Karate Kid, Mr. Miyagi says, “Never trust a leader who cannot dance. When we dance, there are no rules. We must be open to whatever song comes on” Jay Shetty. If your focused playlist gets messed up, go with the flow. You might fall, you might hesitate to know which dance move to make or stroke to use. Keep flowing, allowing the mess to be beautiful. Life is supposed to be fun. It's about heart, it's about moving toward something beautiful. It’s not about getting every tiny move correct. No one does every single move the same. The heart behind the movement beats in a rhythm of joy and pleasure. Be present with yourself. Be the drop of awesome in the ocean. Remember to breathe, flowing in the air and water that makes your heart pump.
Drew Rane, The Familiar Way
There is no such thing as too many drops in the ocean nor too many rays of the sun. As a woman, be a powerful drop of water or ray of light. Follow nature’s powerful energy. Align your goals with the power of nature. The sun’s energy causes the waves. Waves transmit energy caused by the wind as it blows across the ocean, lakes, and rivers. Waves ultimately are caused by the gravitational pull of the sun. As you ebb and flow in life, allow the waves and tides to be your life force. Flow to your own circadian rhythm and revolve around the power of water and light. Surrender to the movements around you and find peace. Flow is your new super power.
The waves of the ocean cleanse through their flow. The waves will still be there, but because of your new depth and vastness, you are peacefully surrendering to their movement. Be whole in the rough, natural, uncured version of you. You are the ocean. You consume the waves. Engulf their energy each day with ease. The same energy the water holds flows through your veins.
Amanda Joyce is open for writing and speaking opportunities and is endorsed by WIFA.
Connect with Amanda here.